A Work In Progress
by CBloom2
Summary: Set in 7.01 - Bobbys study - laptop, whisky and a talk about hiding what's happening.  I hope the story makes sense than the summary.


**So, this is kind of an extension of the scene from 7.01 in Bobby's house where Dean is drinking at the laptop.**

**I feel like the guys need to talk about not hiding things from each other, because when they do it's never pretty.**

**So I've extended/messed about with the scene a little – hope I haven't ruined it! I've used a little bit of dialogue from the episode, not much.**

**As always Sam, Dean and Bobby do not belong to me – I just like to cause them more angst whenever they have a spare moment.**

**Possible spoilers for 7.01 and maybe a smidgen for 7.02.**

Dean poured himself another glass of whisky as he jubilantly punched the 'enter' button on the laptop that took him to the risqué website he had been looking for. He was settling down nicely when the sound of heavy footsteps broke into the ever increasing alcoholic bubble that was forming around him.

"Do you want some coffee with that?"

He glanced up to see the source of the question – his freakishly tall 'little' brother. His freakishly tall, but looking like death warmed over little brother. Although seeing Sam in such a state worried him beyond belief, he didn't really want to talk to him at the moment. He was still smarting from the fact that he had just found out Sam was having hell hallucinations and that he had found out about them from Death, of all people – not from the person that he should have.

"Dean what are you doing?" Asked Sam, puzzled that his brother wasn't getting ready for the next stage in their plan to deal with Cas.

Dean raised his glass, "I'm going to have a drink, watch some cartoon porn and wait for the world to explode…coz that's what's going to happen!"

"But what about Cas? Dean?" Sam insisted, concerned about the resignation on his brother's face.

"Cas is gone Sam…he's to far gone for us to help…"  
>"Dean what's wrong with you? You never give up so easily…"<p>

"Yeah, well perhaps it's time to!" He snapped as he downed his glass then refilled.

Sam watched his brother with concern. He had never seen Dean so beaten down before. He was always the one that pulled everything together no matter what had happened before. But this thing with Cas had really got to him. Cas had been a friend, a brother almost, Dean had trusted him – followed him…only to be betrayed again by someone that his cared about. How much more of that could Dean take?

Suddenly a pain sliced through his head, like a knife through butter. Sam couldn't stop the groan that escaped his lips, "Sam?" He heard the question in Dean's voice.

Sam rubbed his forehead, "I'm ok…it's nothing."

"Here we go again…" Dean mumbled angrily.

Dean hadn't meant to get angry at his brother, especially as he'd seen the pain cross his face and what little colour he had leech from his face, but he knew that Sam was keeping things from him – again! Would the kid never learn?

Dean poured some whisky into a second glass and offered it to his brother. The younger man looked at it, weighing up whether he should accept it or not. He took the glass but nodded his head towards the laptop, "Turn it off?"

Dean looked surprised by his brothers' request, but he put the lid down nonetheless. Sam sighed deeply as he dropped into the chair opposite Dean. They clinked their glassed together, but while Dean drained his, Sam barely took a sip.

Sam's head was beginning to pound again – so much so that he discarded his glass so he could put his head in his hands, "Painful?"

Sam massaged his skull in the vain hope of manipulating the pain away, "Yeah," he breathed.

"Finally we get a morsel of truth," Dean retorted sarcastically.

"Dean…" Sam whispered, pleadingly.

"Don't 'Dean' me Sammy. It kills me to see you like this – yet you still try to hide it from me…" He poured himself another drink.

"Stop…" Sam mumbled, still not able to lift his head from the table without it feeling like a stampede of horses running through it.

"Excuse me?"

"I said stop. Stop with the drinking… it's going to kill you."

"Oh it's going to kill me is it?" Dean commented angrily – downing his newly filled glass yet again, "There's only one thing killing me at the moment – do you know what that is? It's you Sam and your secrets…" Dean turned his face away as he felt his emotions begin to surface.

Sam for his part looked suitable shocked, "Dean you know why I haven't said anything…"

"Yeah, to protect me, blah blah blah. Well guess what Sammy boy, you're not protecting me, you're hurting me! Can you imagine how much it hurts to find out that my brother is having hallucinations of hell – but I don't find out from him…Oh no I have to find out from Death himself! And don't you think I haven't noticed how you sometimes space out or grab your head as if it's going to fall off? What do you take me for?"

"I'm sorry Dean…"

"You're sorry – well I guess that makes it ok then. Let me guess, it won't happen again…hmm I'm having a slight déjà vu moment here!"

By the end of his rant, Dean felt his eyes fill with tears of fear and frustration. Why couldn't Sam see it? This same situation happened over and over again.

"I heard you…" Sam explained quietly, "I heard you and Bobby talking about our luck, or lack of it. I'd just had a dream – I was coming to tell you but…I couldn't…not when I heard how down and disheartened you felt…I couldn't add to it."

"What did you see?" Dean asked his voice hoarse.

Sam looked puzzled.

"What did you see in your hallucination…dream or whatever you call it?" Dean focused his complete attention on his brother now – daring him to hide anything.

Sam withered slightly under the scrutiny but knew that this was an opportunity to let some of it go, "Well in the first one I saw chains and meat hooks in the cellar…dripping with blood and flesh..." Sam paled, "There was this horrible maniacal laughter but there was no-one there…"

"That's when Bobby found you with the wrench?" Dean asked, remembering the older man's face when he'd returned to the garage after searching for Sam.

Sam nodded, embarrassed by the memory of him holding the wrench as if the defend himself...from nothing.

Dean watched as Sam fought through his feeling of inadequacy, "Sam…?" He pushed gently; reaching over to touch is brother's had to bring him back to the here and now. Sam looked up in surprise, "Huh? Oh I had a doozy that night I went looking for you. I feel asleep while researching – but obviously in my dream I was awake. The ceiling started to crumble and suddenly this huge chain came and wrapped itself around my neck and hauled me up into the air. I was choking…I couldn't breathe…" His breaths started to come in short gasps as he remembered the dream. Dean squeezed his arm to remind that he wasn't in the dream now. Sam's breathing calmed, "As I was kicking around I heard the laughter again. Dean, it sounded like Cas, but I knew it couldn't be…I must've knocked a book off the desk as I slept because when it dropped to the floor I woke up. I shouted for you and Bobby – then I went to find you."

Dean nodded as he tried to process all the information that Sam had given him, but Sam could see that his brother wasn't quite there yet, "I swear Dean, that's everything…up to now. I don't know what's to come…"

Dean cringed as he saw the fear on Sam's face, "I believe you Sam and I understand why you don't tell me these things – hell, I've done to same thing to you – but when has hiding anything worked out for us?"

Sam raised a small smile, "Never! It's just you've had to carry all this crap around with you since I was 6 months old. You've protected me – you've always been there for me – you've never let me down ever after all the grade A crap I've thrown at you these last few years…"

"Sam you're my brother – my family – that's what family does," Dean insisted.

Sam sighed deeply, as he massaged his head again, "I know…" he agreed, "I also know that I would be dead if it hadn't been for you Dean…"

"Get outta here – drama queen!" Dean said, not liking where this was going.

"It's true Dean. I wouldn't have got through anything without you by my side. But I can also see that it's weighing you down Dean – all of this – me…Cas…I just wanted to take some of it off you. These hallucinations can only be controlled by one person – me – so I figured that if you didn't know too much about it, you couldn't worry as much as you do…"

Sam looked at his brother who had a 'how did that work out for you' expression on his face.

Sam sat back in his chair with a slight chuckle. Then Dean's face took on a serious look, "I get it Sam, I really do – and I know that you have to deal with these hallucinations, memories, whatever they are, in your own way, but me and Bobby are here…don't shut us out ok? I get more wigged out when I don't know what's going on. Also I know what I said about us not catching a break, but I truly believe that the only way we will ever get a break is if we are both on the same page – simple as…"

Sam smiled and nodded his agreement, "Works both ways Dean. I'm not a kid, I can handle crap…"

"I know Sammy – unfortunately I know only to well," Dean replied sadly. "Let's agree to try to be more open with each other huh? A work in progress?" Dean looked hopeful.

Sam pushed his hand through his tousled hair, "A work in progress…" He agreed.

A few days later, Dean found himself, yet again, keeping watch by his brother's bedside as he slept off the residual effects of yet another horrific hallucination. As Dean sat, a thin slither of silvery moonlight encroached its way across Sam's prone figure. Dean's body was assaulted by a violent shudder as he recalled how they had found Sam in some sort of warehouse, nose bleeding, totally out of it, pointing a gun at him and at some invisible presence that only Sam could see.

Dean had been scared out of his mind as his seriously messed up brother told him that he couldn't remember driving there…or anything else from the previous few hours, when Dean and Bobby couldn't find him.

Once Dean had managed to talk him round and got him settled at Bobby's, Sam had grabbed hold of Dean, "Remember our work in progress?" He asked earnestly.

Dean had nodded, slowly, knowing that whatever Sam was going to tell him would not be good.

"I saw Lucifer…in my dream or whatever it was. I saw Lucifer and he told me that I was still in the cage with him…"

He had then drifted off into a troubled sleep, leaving Dean reeling from what Sam and just confessed to him.

Now that was something that Dean had not expected to hear…

**Any good? Was the ending a bit blah? It took me a week to write it – so it probably doesn't make much sense now, but at least I've got it out of my head!**

**Thanks for reading and if you review, please be kind.**


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